


Good Omens and Recreation

by Shay_Moonsilk



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Parks and Recreation
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Aziraphale likes crepes the way Leslie likes waffles, Beelzebub is nice, Eden is Pawnee, F/M, Fluff, GET IT, Gabriel is not a dick, Gen, M/M, No Betas We Fall Like Crowley, Nonbinary Beelzebub (Good Omens), Parks and Rec AU, Ritz is JJ's Diner, Ritz is a diner, because Parks, but only to Aziraphale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-07-11 19:31:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19933327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shay_Moonsilk/pseuds/Shay_Moonsilk
Summary: No one is more passionate about the Eden Parks and Recreation Department then Azira Phale. And while his boss, Michael, didn’t seem to care much for directly running the department, Uriel seemed disenfranchised at best, and Anathema was a disinterested intern, he knew he had the best department and best humans in the world with him.But when Gabriel Archangel and Anthony Crowley, two auditors from the state come to slash the budget, Azira Phale is determined for their plans to ruin the best city in the world fail miserably.Yes, this is the Good Omens Parks and Recreation AU.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So basically this idea has not left my head because the love story between Crowley and Aziraphale reminded me a LOT of Leslie and Ben. I also struggled with how to give Aziraphale an easier name for this so I just broke it up. I also thought Gabriel as the Chris Treager character was hysterical, and it would be really sweet to see him and Beezlebub as not villains. There’s also a certain aloofness in Michael that makes for a really funny Ron Swanson. 
> 
> So picture the cast, if you will:   
> Leslie Knope - Aziraphale “Azira Phale”   
> Ann Perkins - Beezlebub “Beezlebub Fly”   
> Ron Swanson - Michael “Michael Angel”   
> April Ludgate - Anathema Device   
> Andy Dwyer - Newton Pulsifer   
> Donna Meagle - Uriel “Uriel Heaven”   
> Gary/Jerry/Larry/Terry Gurgich - Sandalphon “Sandal Smite” (among other monikers, to be named)   
> Tom Haverford - Hastur “Hastur Frog”   
> Chris Treager - Gabriel “Gabriel Archangel”   
> Ben Wyatt - Crowly “Anthony J Crowley” 
> 
> This isn’t going to be a perfect Parks and Rec rendition, because I just don’t have that in me, but it will at least be an arc for the Harvest Festival, City Council, the Eagleton Merger, Unity Festival, ethics hearing, Unity Festival, recall, and a few other things that I think would be fun. I mentioned everything out of order intentionally, in case anyone hasn’t seen the show yet. I will be accepting asks and prompts at ‘GoodOmensandRecreation’, my tumblr.

Dating Newton Pulsifer was a dark moment in Beezlebub’s life. One that was to never be mentioned by threat of painful death and dismemberment. And, as a nurse, they were particularly competent at knowing the best and most painful way to make that happen. People around Beezlebub knew better then to bring that facet up, and everyone pretended that it never happened. But realistically, Beezlebub knew that if they never dated Newton, they would have never met Azira, and that wasn’t really a life worth living anyhow. 

Meeting Azria Phale had not been on their plate though. Newton had been trying to use a cell phone, and when it burst into flame he stumbled into the pit right outside Beezlebub’s home. Enraged, they went straight to the next monthly town hall meeting that the Parks and Recreation Department of Eden hosted. 

There, they tore into the hosts because honestly Beezlebub was tired of seeing people in business casual clothing sit behind desks and waste time on false promises and lies. And that was exactly how Beezlebub saw Azira Phale at the time. 

Merely a week later, they would regret that characterization. Azira Phale was the hardest worker out of anyone Beezlebub had ever met. After hearing their complaints, he sat in silence for a moment, and pursed his lips. 

“A bottomless pit next to my house is ridiculous,” Beezlebub snapped at the time. 

“You know,” Azira replied, furrowing their eyebrows, “You’re right. That lot shouldn’t be a pit, it should be a park!” 

That hadn’t been what Beezlebub meant, but it was the best they could have hoped for, so they sat down and thought that was the end of it. 

It wasn’t. 

What happened next was getting followed, emailed, texted, tweeted, any way Azira Phale could get in touch. At first it was annoying - Beezlebub had never meant to get involved - but somehow it started to melt away. It became clear really fast that Azira got involved in public service out of a genuine belief that they lived in the greatest city in the world, and that everyone deserved to enjoy it. 

Beezlebub found it hard to stay annoyed with someone so iron willed and inspired to help. Also, it started to create a positive outlet from long hospital shifts. Before long, Azira became a friend, and someone Beezlebub could hang out with when they could no longer talk about work, though it was hard to get Azira to  _ not _ talk about work. Before even realizing what was happening, Beezlebub started going with Azira to clubs and bars, and tried to get him to find someone. In the beginning they hoped it would make Azira less annoying. But that was never the reason. 

Azira Phale was too kind of a person to go home and read in his overstuffed library of a house, and Beezlebub wanted, genuinely wanted, for him to be happy. And when they broke up with Newton, Beezlebub found themselves spending more time with Azira. 

Azira was the only person in the world allowed to call them, “Bee.” And Beezlebub was the only person allowed to get Aziraphale to stop working after hours or on weekends. 

Being a nurse meant flexible hours, which was how Beezlebub was able to come to Eden City Hall that Tuesday at 9:15 am. They checked in, clipped on the visitor badge, and walked down the hall to the Parks and Recreation office. There was a perfunctory awkward hello to give to Newton, who shined shoes now by the entrance, and then Beezlebub was finally in the Parks and Recreation Office. 

The first person Beezlebub saw was Uriel. Uriel Heaven was the office manager for the department. They were quiet, but completely terrifying. There was a loyalty to the department, but their life was a mystery Azira had been trying to know better for several years. Uriel offered a kind smile, and Beezlebub gave a much more sincere hello. 

“You’re going to need some coffee,” Uriel gestured to the corner, where a coffee machine rested on a table, below a thermometer tracking how much money they still needed for the park.

“How bad is it?” 

“He’s been here since 8:30,” Uriel said with an eyeroll that was betrayed by a fond tone, “But was outside the building since 6 because Security doesn’t let him keep his badge anymore.” 

A smile made it’s way on Beezlebub’s face without permission. At 5:30, Azira was required to surrender his badge to the front desk, or risk being locked in. That risk was for Security - if he had his way Azira would never leave City Hall except to get crepes at Ritz Diner. 

Beezlebub meant to get coffee, but it was occupied by Sadal, who was trying to pour himself a cup but ultimately spilled most of it on his own pants. 

“So sorry, I’ll go make more!” He called, and Uriel sighed. 

The desk next to the coffeemaker was occupied by Anathema Device, who had been an intern when Beezlebub first got involved. When they first talked Beezlebub made the mistake of assuming she enjoyed her internship, and was appropriately checked when Anathema told her that she was a fulltime witch, this was just for money. Anathema was also scary, was never particularly nice to Beezlebub. That could also be explained by the odd friendship she had with Newton. 

Behind blinds sat Michael, the Director. Michael loved nature and had a respect for authority, but absolutely hated government and organizations ran by people. According to her they were flawed inherently. Beezlebub didn’t try to go out of their way to see Michael. 

Instead, they turned to go into the Deputy Director’s office, where Azira and Hastur work. 

“Bee!” Azira called out, “Hastur look, Bee’s here!” He ran over to give a hug, even though they had seen each other last night. It was nice to be liked, so Beezlebub always hugged back. 

“Yup, can see, have my own eyes,” Hastur called over, not looking up from where he was playing scrabble on the computer. 

“Look, look,” Azira walked them over to his desk, where four binders were placed. 

Beezlebub picked one up, and brightened. “Is this it?”

Azria grinned back. “It is! These two,” he gestured to the binder Beezlebub had and another next to it - both coded in pink, “are the plans we made for our park! And these,” he gestured to another two, “Are our copies of plans for every question the budget committee will possibly have for us!” 

“He means every question,” Hastur commented, still not looking over, “One is about zombies. He works out loud.” 

“I’m prepared,” Azira sniffed, but Beezlebub ignored them both to open their copy. 

“I, this, it’s really something,” They smiled. It had taken months to put this together, and it was exhausting to write so much legal text, but to hold the finished project really felt special. 

“Would have been fast if you worked more nights and weekends.” Azira pointed out, but Bee was uninterested in answering that. 

“So the meeting is at 11 in the morning, what do we do until then?”

Azira laughed, like Beezlebub had just told a funny joke. “Obviously, we’re going to wait for the doors to open! They open at 10:30, and we need to get the really good seats in front so we get to be the first to present.” 

Of course, Beezlebub should have known. Honestly it was on them for not realizing that was what they would be doing. 

“And you’re fifteen minutes late, so we really need to get a wiggle on.” Azira said, handing Beezlebub another binder. He picked up two himself, and they started to head toward the front door. 

As they left, they were stopped by Michael. 

“I’m glad you two were running late this morning,” She said, moving to stand in front of the door. “I’m here to tell you that the budget meeting has been canceled.” 

Beezlebub’s eyebrows rose in shock, and they turned to look at Azira. He looked confused, as is Michael had just spoken another language. 

“I’m sorry?” He gave a nervous smile, “I just heard a really loud rushing sound happen, can you repeat that?”

“There is no Budget Meeting happening.” Michael repeated, “City Council is being audited.” Beezlebub knew that wasn’t a joke, because Michael looked incredibly happy. Hastur looked up and away from the computer, knowing that watching them would be far more interesting. 

Azira spluttered. He started shifting through one of the planning binders. “I prepared for everything! I prepared for flooding, and rain, and construction, and all the questions in the world, but not for there to be no meeting at all!” He looked devastated. It reminded Beezlebub of the sad animals from the commercials they never watched. 

“Two auditors arrived this morning from the state to look at our budget,” Michael continued, sounding visibly happier as she went on, “Azira, you and I are meeting with them to go over our budget.” 

“I am so angry right now,” and it was proven in how he sharply placed the binders back on the desk. Azira Phale never mishandled binders. 

“It’ll be alright,” Beezlebub said, putting their own down, and tried not to think about the pang of all that hard work not seeing any outcome. No wonder people in politics fell. “We’ll commiserate at Anathema’s birthday party tonight.”

“Drinks’ll be 12% off,” Hastur added, and then gave Beelzebub a wink, “20 if you go out with me.” Beezlebub knew better then to dignify that with a response. Threats in a city office building got you thrown out of it, and they didn’t want to leave Azira now. There would be time for that later. Or maybe even pretending to consider, if only for the ultimately free alcohol. 

That was when Anathema joined them. “Two people just walked in,” She said, “Michael you told me you actually wanted to talk to them?”

Michael grinned while Azira hissed. 

They all walked out to see two men come into their office. Both men were tall, one more built, and the other more lanky. The more built man had the most aggressive smile Beezlebub had ever seen, the other was redheaded and wore sunglasses. 

“Hello, welcome to the Parks Department,” Michael said, “I am so happy you are here, and ready to watch you cut our budget.” 

“I am,” The built man began, “Literally so happy to be here, in this room, with each and everyone of you right this very second.” 

Beezlebub leaned over to Azira to cough, “Intense”, which he would normally laugh at. This time he just gave a smile. 

The man continued, as if Beezlebub hadn’t said anything, “My name is Gabriel Archangel, and,” he gestured to his side, “This is my closest friend and work colleague Anthony Crowley.” The other man gave a half-hearted wave, looking as uncomfortable as Beezlebub felt. 

“My name is Michael Angel-” Michael began, offering her hand. But the moment she did, Gabriel grabbed it and made pointed eye contact. 

“Michael Angel. Hello,” He beamed at her. She blinked, thrown off, but introduced him to each and every person in the office, where he would make direct eye contact, repeat their full name, and tell them how he was literally so excited and happy to meet them in the Parks and Recreation Department of Eden. And that was what he said, verbatim, to each and every person he met. 

Michael finally led him to Azira, who did not uncross his arms until Michael nudged him. 

“I’m Deputy Director Azira Phale.” Gabriel grabbed his hand and gave his intense grin and repeated his name. 

"Azira Phale. I am so glad to be here, in your office, in the city of Eden here today at 9:20 in the morning. This is Anthony." 

Anthony also shook his hand. Beezlebub noticed Azira try to give him as piercing of a stare as he could, which was like watching a puppy get mad. 

“This is my best friend in the world, and the best nurse that ever lived Beezlebub Fly.” 

“Good morning Beezlebub Fly,” Gabriel said, and Beezlebub felt like staring into the sun would give the same feeling they had now. 

“I have a very strict work out regimen,” Gabriel said. "My plan is to live to be 150 years old, so I have a very specific schedule. Right now it’s time for me to go run my morning 5k, but I’ll leave you with Anthony. Don’t worry, everything is going to be fine and we are here to help.” He clapped Anthony on the shoulder, hard by the way his whole body staggered, and ran outside. 

"That was the nicest person I have ever seen," Sandal said, amazed. Anathema scoffed. 

"Wow, can you maybe not kiss up so much?" She glared, and he apologized. Anthony didn't say anything in response, but he instead turned to Azira and Michael. 

“Can I speak with you two?” They both nodded. 

Beezlebub reached out to grad Azira’s wrist. “I’ll catch up with you at lunch,” They whispered, and Azira nodded. As they went into the meeting room, Beezlebub decided this was a situation that needed emergency crepes from Ritz. 

\--

“Is it alright if I eat this?” Michael asked Anthony. ‘This’ referred to the popcorn she had made in honor of their budget meeting. “This is one of my greatest realities to come to fruition. And also, when you make all the budget cuts, can I be there when you do it?” 

“Look,” Anthony said, not paying attention to the question, “We’re going to go over this budget together, and find places that we can make cuts, and we’ll report our findings back to our supervisors.”

“We can’t make cuts!” Azira snapped, “Each thing in that budget is vital to the success of our department.” Michael snorted. 

“What can you tell me about Sandal?” Anthony countered, opening up the first page. 

Michael looked at Azira. For his part Azira said, “Yes,” with a completely straight face. “We all love and respect him. We would riot if he left.” 

In that moment, behind Anthony Crowley, Anathema moved Sandal’s chair, and he staggered back and fell on the floor. Uriel and Hastur laughed. 

“Look, we need to be able to cut your budget by 40 or 50 percent,” Anthony said, “This city is in real trouble.” Michael made a noise that could be considered a giggle. 

“Impossible, this is the greatest city in the country and planet.” Azira replied, and glared, “You just want to ruin lives.” 

“Easy,” Michael murmered but Azira didn’t listen. 

“You’re a jerk - this is a real building, with real people, and real feelings!” 

“This building has feelings?” Anthony asked, question dripping with sarcasm. 

Azira wouldn’t let himself be cowed. “Maybe it does!” He snapped back and Anthony sighed. 

“Look, I’ll look over your previous budgets to get what I need.” With that he stood up and left. 

As he walked out, Michael pursed her lips. 

“What is a non-romantic way to ask him to go camping with me?” 

\---

Today was supposed to be one of Azira Phale’s biggest triumphs in his whole career. He was supposed to be able to present the park proposal, get accepted, impress everyone at City Hall, become a councilmember, become mayor, become governor, solve all the education problems, run for president, and nationalize crepe day while promoting world peace. 

As far as he was concerned, Anthony Crowley was ruining his life path and dream. 

And he said as much to Bee that night, while they were at Hastur’s Bar celebrating Anathema’s birthday. 

“He’s just a big jerkface that is going to ruin everything,” He bemoaned. Bee made sympathetic noises, and gave more shots. 

“We’ll find another way,” They offered, “We’ll just continue to raise money like we have been. Just have fun tonight.” 

“You are right!” Azira downed the shot and pulled Bee up. “We need to dance!” 

That wasn’t what Bee meant, and Azira knew it but he just wanted to party at that point. And Bee usually always said yes to what Azira Phale wanted. 

From a distance away, Anathema waited at the bar, trying to look disinterested in what was happening. But she did smile at Uriel when they sat with her. 

“Waiting for someone?” Uriel grinned. Anathema shook her head, but it didn’t stop her from checking the door every few minutes. 

“Of course not, why would I be?” She asked, still looking at the door. Uriel scoffed, and made a motion to the bartender to get two shots. They offered one to Anathema.

“To not waiting.” They clinked and took them. From the corner of their eye, Uriel saw Newton come in, and Anathema walked away to a roped off area. She caught his eye and he dashed after her. Uriel laughed. 

“Hey!” Newton called, and he saw Anathema turn and look surprised to see him. 

“Happy Birthday, I made this for you.” He pushed a poorly wrapped package at her, and she pretended to not smile. 

“Thanks, I’m glad you finally got here. It’s just old people dancing right now.” She looked over at Azira, who had had several shots and was doing something energetic that involved kicking. Bee was also dancing, but Anathema didn’t care. 

“I can get you a drink!” Newt said, and then quickly checked his wallet to make sure that was true. “Yeah, I definitely can.” 

This time Anathema did smile at him. 

From where they were dancing, Beezlebub saw the witch eye them and shuddered. “Anathema really doesn’t like me.” They said. 

Azira stopped kicking and looked around, trying to place where she was. “It’s not that,” he consoled, “No one can dislike you. Ever. She’s just nervous because of Newton," He then swayed and gave her a large smile. "Bee, I'm sorry that the meeting today didn't happen. But I'm so glad you came to that meeting to yell at me about parks because now I have you in my life." 

And Bee knew they alcohol was hitting them because they voluntarily pulled Azira Phale into a hug. "I'm glad too," they said honestly, "You're my best friend. And I don't care about Newton."

"I know you don't." He returned the hug, and tightened it when Bee tried to pull away. Finally they did, and he pouted. Bee looked over to see if they could see Newton again, but then paled. Azira followed their gaze and his eyes narrowed.  Anthony Crowley and Gabriel Archangel come into the club. If Beezlebub had been more sober, they would have wondered why Anthony would be wearing sunglasses indoors, but Beelzebub was far from sober, so they were not. 

“What are they doing here?” Azira hissed, which Hastur overheard from where he had been trying to talk people up. 

“I invited them,” He said. Azira gave him a withering look. It was decidedly more dangerous when directed at him, because Hastur had a healthy amount of fear for him. It came from years of Azira having to order him around into doing work - basically his job. 

Hastur held his arms up in the surrender gesture. “Look, I got to promote the bar, okay?” The glare did not lessen. 

“I’ll get you a drink!” The glare lessened slightly. 

The alcohol was definitely hitting Beezlebub now, because they found themselves laughing at the display. 

“Bee, Bee, Bee,” Azira reached out to take Beezlebub’s hands. 

“What is it?” They asked.

“I need you. I always need you because you are my favorite person. But right now I need you to support me because I need to tell Anthony that he can’t tear my Parks team apart.” 

Bee nodded along, “That makes perfect sense to me.” 

Azira let go of one hand, but led Bee along to where Anthony was. 

Anthony looked up at them and gave an awkward, half-smile. “Hey, Azira, I wanted to talk about earlier-”

“So did I!” Azira yelled, “Because I think you're being a jerkface, and I don't like that you're trying to party with my friends when you're just going to fire them!" 

Crowley raised an eyebrow. "You're so sure that's what I want?"

At that moment, Azira swayed and Bee reached out to hold him steady. For a moment, to Bee it looked like Anthony was going to do the same. "Yeah," He pressed on, because he hadn't noticed, "And I don't want your jerky-ness to rub off on them." 

"Alright," Anthony shook his head, "Well, you made your point." He turned on his heel and walked out. 

Azira looked over his shoulder at Bee, "How was I?" He asked. 

Bee, who felt like swaying herself, just grinned back. "Super professional."

"I knew it!" 

\----

Azira Phale was hungover. He didn't show up at work the next day until 9 in the morning, which was basically late for him. He kept his gaze on the ground to ignore the lights and walked stiffly to his own desk. 

He could see Hastur with his head down, and computer off. Even Bee was sitting in the chair in front of his desk, holding two coffees and takeout bag from Ritz. 

"I think we died," He whispered, and they groaned. "Don't yell at me," Bee replied, "I even brought you crepes." 

Azira Phale cheered in his head, but then stopped because that hurt. He slowly sat down. 

"We drank to much last night." He said, and both of them nodded, Hastur still not lifting his head from the desk. 

"I'm pretty sure I kissed someone last night." Beezlebub said, and that did get Hastur's attention. 

"Was it me?" He asked, hopefully. They scoffed. 

"Take a wild guess." 

"Yes?"

"Another guess." He dropped his head back down. 

Azira looked at them. At this point, they had been friends long enough that he could give her a question with a look. 

The look said: Do you know who it was? 

Bee correctly understood the look, and shrugged. The shrug was meant to say: I don't, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't Hastur. 

The silent conversation was interrupted by a loud door slam, and all three moaned in pain.

"AZIRA PHALE!" That was Michael. 

Azira groaned, and got up, shuffling to Michael's office. 

She was glaring at him. "Would you care to explain your actions last night?" 

"Which ones?" Azira asked, but a dreadful feeling in his gut was forming. 

"The part where you shouted and yelled at a State Auditor for doing his job," She snapped, "That is the fastest way to get yourself fired." 

"I can't help it," Azira tried to defend, knowing it was no use, "I just look at him, and I look at the sunglasses, and I just get so angry because he's doing to ruin every-"

"That's not my problem," Michael said. After a moment, her face relaxed. "If you get fired we don't have a department, so you need to reign it in. Call him and apologize."

"You call and apologize," He muttered petulantly, but knew she was right. 

"What do we do when we get mad?" She reminded, her voice gentling. Michael knew he would do the right thing. 

"We count backwards from a thousand by sevens and think of warm brownies," He parroted. Brownies did sound good....

"Stop thinking of the brownies right now and call him." Michael ordered, and retreated back into her office. 

\----

Azira Phale knew calling Anthony Crowley was the right thing to do. It just sucked being an adult sometimes. 

That was why he picked meeting at Ritz, the best diner in the city of Eden. And even though he had said to meet at seven, he still got there at six-thirty to eat preparation crepes. 

Which is what Anthony saw when he came in at six forty-five. He gave a small wave and sat down across the booth. 

Azira cleared his throat, and took a drink of hot chocolate. "Thank you for meeting me here," he said, "I know you probably didn't want to come." 

"Nah, it's fine," Anthony said. He ordered a coffee from the waitress and eyed a menu. "It was either come here, or watch Gabriel do five hundred push ups in our hotel room, again." 

A laugh escaped Azira's throat, but he wasn't sure if that was a joke or not so he stopped. Anthony gave a small smile and put his chin in his hand. 

"Thanks," He said, "I think the funniest part is that wasn't a joke."

"How long have you worked together?" Azira asked, deciding to stall for time. 

"A few years now," Anthony said, "We used to be separate. He would go around and smile, make people feel great but then wouldn't actually cut anything. I would go around and yell at people, and well, they'd react like you. So our office put us together for a balance." 

"It's not a bad idea," Azira admitted. "And, I, well, I _am_ sorry. I just-"

"You care about your city, and I'm a stranger here to ruin everything you work so hard to build?" Anthony guessed. Azira swallowed and nodded. 

"Look, you aren't the first person to react like that. And also," He took a moment to thank the waitress for the coffee and drink it - _black_ , Azira shuddered - "Jerk face is not the worst insult I've been called." 

"Should I be offended I don't make the top?" Azira asked, giving a smile. In truth, he was relieved. Anthony had thick skin, and Azira was glad he didn't seem like one to hold a grudge. 

The smile on Anthony's face got a little wider, a little more genuine. "No offense, but getting yelled at by you was like getting yelled at by a cupcake."

Azira laughed. "Bee likes to say that to me. I'm really happy to know her. She and I have been trying to build this park that used to be this pit and, I just want to give something positive to the city."

"I do know what that's like," Anthony said, taking another drink from his coffee. 

"Have you ever worked for government before?" Azira asked. Anthony nodded. 

"I used to be a mayor of a small town," He admitted, and Azira gasped. 

"You're 'Andy Crawly'!" He exclaimed, and Crowley gave a wince and a nod. 

"Yeah, that was me. Elected mayor at eighteen, and did exactly the kind of job an eighteen year old would do." He gave a self-depreciating laugh. "I misused the city budget and ran the place into the ground in five months. They impeached me and I had to move," He took a long drink of his coffee. "It's why I do this now. Don't want to see another city make that kind of mistake." 

Azira stared at him, and gave a slow smile. "That's actually really sweet," He said, "I guess I can respect that."

"And I respect you care about your city," Crowley said. When the waitress came back he ordered dinner, and didn't say anything when Azira asked for more crepes. 

"Does this mean you won't destroy my department?" Azira asked hopefully. 

Crowley sighed. "About that," He said, and he actually looked apologetic, "The financial situation here is worse then Gabriel and I realized, and it looks like there will have to be a shutdown."

He winced, and braced himself for more shouting, but none came. When he looked back over, Azira looked at him with a confused expression on his face. 

"I'm sorry," Azira gave a half-laugh, "I just head a really loud rushing sound in my ears, could you repeat that please?" 


	2. The Concert at the Pit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A shutdown means no concert for the kids, but a little thing like no budget, space, or supplies isn't about to stop Azira Phale from putting on the best concert possible. 
> 
> Anthony Crowley doesn't know what he's talking about anyway, even IF he'll buy the crepes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the show, they call the lot by Ann's house Lot 48, which is what it was. But here I thought it was more fitting to the show if they called it The Pit, especially because Beelzebub lives there.

Crowley was sitting at his desk, trying to work on forms to prepare for an upcoming meeting with various department heads about how to best cut down the overall budget for Eden. Gabriel was doing chin-ups while listening to whale sounds. 

At nine in the morning, his desk phone rang. He looked over and sighed. It was a call from security. 

“Hello?” He picked up the phone. 

“He’s back.” The guard said. 

Anthony expected no less. “Yeah, be right there.” 

The shutdown had occurred one week ago, and every single day since Azira Phale had been trying to get into the building and continue to work. It was exhausting, time intensive process to get him to leave. 

The intense dedication was also a little adorable, but that was a thought he was trying really hard to avoid. 

“Azira, you can’t be here,” Anthony said as he walked to the front door. Azira glowered at him. 

“You’re not the one that is going to have to tell the entire town the city’s parks are closed,” Azira said, “And I need to figure out a plan!” 

“I’m sorry,” Anthony said, “I promise you I really am, but it doesn’t change the fact that I literally cannot let you in here.” 

It was truly unfair the way Azira’s face fell. And it wasn’t Anthony Crowley’s fault the building was closed. It was the fault of the City Council, the Mayor, the people that should have spent the city’s money better. But Azira was also right - he wanted to be able to help people and make them happy. 

Anthony looked down at his watch. The time was 9:30. His meeting wasn’t until noon, and Gabriel could easily take over preparations for him. He sent a quick text and looked back over at Azira. 

“Why don’t I take you to breakfast? Think of it as an apology.”

That clearly hadn’t been something Azira was expecting to hear. 

“We’ll go to that place we went to last week, Ritz, right?”

Anthony could see Azira mulling it over - he wanted to say yes. Emboldened, Crowley pressed his luck. 

“We can get those crepes you got last time?” 

Azira grinned at him. 

\---

“So would you ever go back into public service?” Azira asked. He had taken Crowley up on his offer and ordered his crepes. And Anthony had even offered to pay, as long as Azira didn’t ask about being let into the building. 

The first lesson about Azira that Anthony now knew was that if bribed with crepes, there was little he wouldn’t do. 

“I do,” He answered, over his own eggs and bacon, “My hope is that if I do enough balance sheets I can redeem myself enough to run for public office. You want to run for office of course.” 

“Wait, yes,” Azira blinked, “How did you know?”

“Because not just anyone tries to work everyday when the building literally does not let you in,” the words, while sounding biting, were belied by the subtle grin and wink. And he was rewarded with a blush that spread throughout Azira’s whole face. 

“Well, my plan has always been to become Governor and President,” Azira admitted, “I used to write about it in my dream journal when I was younger.” 

Anthony refused to find that adorable, and failed. 

“That’s great,” He said, and took another drink of coffee, “But you’ll need to be able to make tough calls. Being governor means making tough decisions that people don’t like because of things you can’t control.” 

“I know that,” Azira said, “But I know that in the way you know that salads are disgusting or that Beelzebub is the best friend anyone can ever have in their life. I don’t think about it in reality.” He took a pause. “No, I think about Bee everyday.” 

Crowley snickered. Then paused. “Who is Bee to you?” 

“My most important friend,” Azira answered, “They’ve been my friend for a little over a year now, and closest friend in a while.” 

“Is Bee someone you’re… with?” 

Azira had been drinking cocoa, so he didn’t answer right away. After a pause he put it down and shook his head. 

“Tragically no, we’re too similar and like the same kind of guy.” 

It took everything in Crowley to not say ‘interesting’ out loud, but it was there. 

\---

Michael and Azira sat at a table before a rec room filled with families. Normally Azira handled meetings like this with Hastur, because Michael would rather be caught dead then out seen doing public work. But Michael was conveying some of the best news in her career. 

“As of today, all the parks in Eden are official closed.” 

It still gave her goosebumps! 

“And we’re terribly sorry!” Azira jumped in, giving Michael a sideways glare. 

“Well when will they open?” Someone from the crowd asked. 

“Who’s to say?” Michael answered back dreamily. 

“How will the terrorists be stopped?” Another person asked. 

Michael did not dignify that with a response. Azira chipped in, “That’s a different department, you’re still safe.” 

One mom stood up, looking panicked. “What about the Freddy Spaghetti concert?” 

Azira sighed. This was the news he was most dreading. “Unfortunately we had to cancel the concert.” 

That was the worst news of the morning, and everyone groaned. 

People filed out of the room, and Azira finally let himself slump in his seat. 

“You were more direct then usual,” Michael noted. “I was expecting you to remind them that you would win if it was a sadness competition.”

“Well I would,” Azira retorted, “It just.. I knew I just had to tell people something they didn’t want to hear because of something I couldn’t control. So they just wanted something quick and direct.” 

Michael pursed her lips. “Unfortunatley that’s going to make you better. It’s a shame about the concert though. I don’t mind us wasting our resources if it keeps kids in nature more.” 

She got up and left, leaving Azira to ponder over that. 

And an idea started to form in his head. 

\--------------------------------

Anathema loved the fact that she didn’t have to work. But that also meant that she didn’t get to walk past the shoe shine counter and make fun of Newton for pretending to make smalltalk with people. And it meant that she didn’t get to sit at her desk and help Michael prevent government waste. And it meant that she didn’t get to rearrange all of Sandal’s supplies, or try and pull Hastur’s chair out from under him. Or listen to Azira talk about his plan for Government - President - Overlord of Peace, and his subsequent plan for her to take over for him in each role. 

Not that she wanted any of that, but with her own family too busy investing in business and running the local witches coven, it was nice to know that there was a lame adult that looked after her and wanted what was best. 

She would never admit any of that out loud of course. It was emotional and gross. And when Azira called her to get her help on throwing a concert, she only said yes because tracking ley lines could only take up so much of her time. 

It had nothing to do with the fact that throwing a concert in the middle of a shutdown on public land was the coolest thing she had ever seen him do, and she wanted to be there for the whole show. It had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that while she wasn’t sure if it could be pulled off, she knew that if anyone could pull it off it would be Azira. 

But that wasn’t the reason. It was clearly because she was bored. 

It was for  _ that  _ reason and  _ that reason only _ she let Azira pick her up. He had already gotten to Uriel and Sandal, because they were in the back seat. And apparently Hastur was already at the lot, arranging for drinks and food to come to the lot next to Beezlebub’s lot the next day. 

“We are going to give the kids a concert!” Azira cheered. 

Anathema refused to find it adorable. Absolutely refused. 

\-------------------------

Azira was the one that went to meetings hours early, but today Michael wanted to follow suit. Especially because today’s meeting was to assess the programs they would be able to cut, and by far that was the best use of her time in a long while. 

“Welcome! Everyone,” Gabriel grinned, and walked up to Michael. 

He gave her his intense smile and pointed at her. “Michae Angel.” Michael stared back at him. She watched as he moved to the next person, and realized that he was going to go to each of the thirty people in the room and repeat their names. 

“I think it’s best for everyone if we just get started,” Anthony called over, and Michael was glad to see that Gabriel would listen. 

It wasn’t that Michael did not believe in government. Fundamentally, she believed that there needed to be a well looked after society that could take care of the wellbeing of its people. That was why she worked in the Parks and Recreation department - people didn’t need looking after aside from the parks. 

But too many people who were not well equipped to work in government misued funds and wasted taxpayer dollars. Michael was a realist, and a pragmatist. It didn’t make sense to coddle people when they needed to be able to achieve what they wanted on their own merit. Michael believed in hard work speaking for itself, and that people should be allowed to persist and do their best without the government stepping in. 

That was what made her the leader of the Parks and Recreation Department. The dichotomy of her loyalty to providing useful services with the unrelenting belief that they waste as few dollars as possible. She and Azira Phale frequently fought over their differing opinions, but she respected his work ethic and dedication to the people. It almost made up for the fact that he was far too liberal for her. Almost. 

Even now, he was texting her about going to The Pit next to Beezlebub’s house to throw that damned concert and this was exactly everything that was wrong with government! 

The worst part was that she was smiling at her own phone. 

“We all need to match Michael’s cheer!” Gabriel called, snapping her out of it, “Because I want everyone to literally be just as happy now as she is!” 

“Thank you Gabe,” Anthony said, “But let’s move onto the Parks and Recreation budget.” 

Michael looked up, confused. “We made significant program cuts already.” 

It was true - after Azira had dinner with Anthony, he went straight to Michael’s house. Armed with all the pancakes and bacon from Ritz, Azira talked Michael into  _ working _ and making a feasible budget for her to bring to this meeting. Michael wanted to encourage Azira working with the auditors, so she allowed him in without throwing any of her signature traps on him. It also helped that he had breakfast food. 

“Unfortunately the Parks and Recreation budget needs to go down more,” Anthony said, and he did look regretful. “We need to allocate your money to other resources. And it means letting go of your Deputy.”

“Absolutely not.” Michael responded, shocking most people in the room. Up to that point, with every cut made and service eliminated, she had personally cheered. The resistance now was met with glares from coworkers that she did not actually care about. 

“You cannot fire Azira Phale,” She continued, “For that you would be getting rid of our department.”

“I don’t want to, but he makes the second highest salary, and it would help.” Anthony pressed. Michael no longer wanted to go camping with him. 

“Then fire me.”

“There is literally nothing more admirable than what you are doing,” Gabriel chimed in, and he also looked regretful. “But you keep a level head and run the department responsibly. Letting you go is a mistake.” 

“So is letting him go!” She cried, “He’s the only person in this damned building who cares about people, and that’s why he’s putting on the concert for those kids right now!”

Anthony Crowley blinked at her. “He’s  _ what _ ?” He asked sharply. 

Well, shit.

There was a moment where Michael debated walking it back, but knew that would do no good. Instead she bolted from the room, intending to run straight to The Pit and warn her team. 

\--------

“I feel like we should talk about your party,” Newton said, stapling a flyer to a poll. 

“We shouldn’t talk about anything, ever, to anyone.” Anathema replied, stapling another flyer to a tree, but doing it upside-down to maintain her aloof image. 

“Well, yeah, but I think we hit it off?” He looked over at her. Anathema very intentionally looked the other way, but there was a smile on her face. 

Anathema caught his glance, and scowled at his smile. “I just think relationships are stupid. And you’re not stupid, and if we date I don’t want us to get wrapped up in following ley lines and not caring about each other.” 

“But what if we tried?” Newt offered, “We can go on a date after the concert, and we’ll make sure that we don’t do anything stupid!” 

She went to staple another concert flyer, this time sideways. “Promise?”

Triumphantly, Newt grinned. “Promise.” 

Anathema stopped stapling, and looked over at him. And before she could stop herself, she gave him a large smile. After a moment she realized what she had done, and, horrified, ran into the middle of the street to throw the rest of her flyers into the air, and run back to The Pit to help with the rest of the set up. 

\------

Back at The Pit, Hastur had just finished corralling local food trucks, while Azira and Beelzebub finished working on the stage. 

“I didn’t know you knew how to set up something like this,” Beelzebub commented, impressed with their work. 

“All of our staff outings are hardware based because of Michael,” Azira called over, finishing something with a screwdriver, “She made us all change the oil in our cars last year, and the winner got a steak. Sandal leaked his everywhere.” 

“It was disgusting,” Hastur added, as he approached them. “And it got all over his sandals, which is why we call him Sandal.” 

“I thought that was his name?” Beelzebub asked. 

“Nah, we called him ‘phone before that, because his phone was always so loud.” Hastur said, “He’s more of a nickname guy anyway.” That honestly made sense to Beelzebub, and they also didn’t care enough to ask more. 

They were cut off by seeing Michael run straight toward them, stopping just in time to knock Sandal over and use him as a placemat. 

"OOF-" Sandal cried out, "Sorry Michael!" But she already pushed herself off of him to rush over. 

"I accidentally told them about the concert," She panted, "While I argued for us to get funding. This has been a very confusing day for me."

"Wait, does that mean they're here?" Azira asked, but that question was answered as Anthony Crowley and Gabriel Archangel came into view. 

"Michael Angel," Gabriel said, giving her a smile and a point, "That was really impressive running, and you should-" Azira watched his gaze slide over to Beelzebub, and his grin changed into something... softer? 

"Beelzebub Fly. Hello," He said, and Azira saw his friend's eyes go wide. 

"Um," Bee floundered for a moment. "Gabriel?"

"Yes!" He grinned at them, "We hung out last night at the party! And you kissed me, which was delightful and one of the best kisses I literally ever got outside of a club!" 

There was something for having a friend and knowing how to read their body language. In that moment, Azira knew Bee's body language was wishing that the Pit could un-fill itself and swallow them whole so they could leave the conversation. 

Thankfully, for Beelzebub's sake, Anthony decided to speak and ruin the joy Azira was feeling. 

"This all has to come down," He said, gesturing to the chairs, tables, stage, and food trucks. "You can't use any of our resources during a shut down!" 

"We aren't using any of your _resources_ ," Azira snapped, saying ' _resources_ ' the way he would have said ' _jerkface_ ' but a few days ago. "All of this stuff was donated, for free, and most of it Michael and I just happen to have." 

"You own equipment to make a _stage_?" Anthony asked incredulously. 

"Well right now it came in handy, didn't it!" Azira shot back. 

"Any self respecting employee of mine has enough tools to build their own shelter at a moment's notice." Michael said, her voice indicating that she had said that phrase before, and often. She walked around to inspect the craftsmanship. "Good work," She called over, and Azira grinned. 

"We already built everything anyway, and we put flyers everywhere," He said triumphantly. "Freddy Spaghetti will sing!" 

That was when Uriel came over, looking apologetic. "Um, he actually isn't coming." They said. 

" _What_?" Azira called, and was a little surprised that Bee, Hastur, and even Michael joined him in that. 

"So, when we canceled," They continued, "He took a job in _Tadfield_." 

"What!?" This time Hastur had the most outraged voice, but that was a close call. 

"What's wrong with Tadfield?" Gabriel asked them. 

"It's the worst place in the world!" Azira scowled. 

"They act all high and mighty." Hastur growled. 

"They have vegan restaurants." Michael intoned. 

Azira Phale very carefully did not make eye contact with Anthony Crowley, who was looking at him very pointedly. "Bee, come with me," He said, and walked in the direction of their house. Bee gave a sheepish grin to Anthony. As they moved to follow, Gabriel reached over to grab their wrist. 

"We should talk later," He said hopefully. 

"Gnk," Bee answered eloquently, and ran off. 

\-------

The concert, true to the flyers Azira made, started two hours later. There hadn't been anything they could have done in that time, so that was how Azira found himself taking the stage in front of all the families that came out. 

"Hey everyone!" He called out, "I'm... I'm Billy Bologne!" That got no laughs, except for an excited cheer from Gabriel at the opposite end of the field. 

"Thank you!" Azira called out, "Um, Freddy Spaghetti couldn't come, because he - ah - bumped... his ... noodle." 

That got a few laughs from the kids. Emboldened, Azira continued, "Yeah! He bumped it, and there was - sauce - everywhere!" That made the chuckles die down. In the distance, Hastur took several shots. 

"So," Azira floundered, "I'm going to fill in! So," he took another breath, "If you're happy and you know it-"

"Clap your hands!" The children instantly perked up and cheered, and when Azira looked over his shoulder - 

"It's Freddy Spaghetti!" He announced cheerfully. The famous noodle waved at everyone. 

Azira covered the microphone to lean over to him. "I thought you couldn't come?"

The singer turned his head to Azira. "All I know is that this guy came to me with a better offer, and I follow the money." He stepped around Azira to take the stage and perform. 

But that didn't make any sense to Azira. What offer, and what-

"Oh." He said softly. Anthony Crowley was just off stage, standing in the same direction as where the singer came. He flashed a grin, and that was when Azira noticed he was holding two beers. Crowley held one up to him as an offering. 

Azira swallowed and walked over, taking one of the beers. "I - well - thank you."

"I've never seen you speechless before," Anthony teased, knocking his beer against Azira's. 

"Why did you do it?" He asked. 

Anthony took a drink, and didn't say anything for a few moments. "I took a step back and looked at what you were doing. And it made me remember why we do this in the first place."

"Why, Mr. Crowley," Azira said slyly, "That's incredibly nice of you." 

"Well don't tell anyone," Anthony said, taking another drink, "It would ruin what you think of me."

"Of course, of course." 

They drank their beers in silence, watching a bunch of kids dance enthusiastically. 

\-----

After Michael had run out of the building, with Gabriel and Anthony following, it became necessary to resume the budget meeting the next day. Anthony busied himself in the meeting room by setting up the powerpoint, and placing spreadsheets around the room. 

"Good morning Anthony." He jerked around, stunned. 

"Azira Phale?" He asked, "You're not supposed to be here." True enough, Azira Phale was standing in the doorway, holding three very large binders. 

"Well," Azira smirked, "Michael thought it was better if I negotiated for the Parks and Recreation department. This is more then your average run-of-the-mill department, and she thought I would do a better job at it." 

"Alright then." Anthony said, and gave a smile. As more people trickled in, Azira apprached the head table to put down two of his binders. 

"You should start reading them, I had a lot of ideas as I was cleaning after the concert." With that, he took the first seat in the first row, and looked at Anthony expectantly. 

He looked down, at the first binder, and opened it. 

"I'm sure you do," He said, with a small smile. 

**Author's Note:**

> And there's the first chapter! Next is Freddy Spaghetti :) Opinions on a Good Omens!Iteration is appreciated. 
> 
> Please let me know what you think! Any episode or segment recommendations would be appreciated. Also if you find a mistake please let me know. Feel free to personally message me at 'GoodOmensAndRecreation' on Tumblr.


End file.
